it's been a month since you left....

i miss you...i miss having you.

i understand it's not yet time for you to be with us that's why you left,

but please do come home soon...

WE are waiting for you...

a new beginning

I decided to revive this blog to continue documenting my life, to share my thoughts, to practice my English (duh! No English conversation nowadays with my workmates, I feel so English barok na sometimes. lol!) and to unload some emotions and thoughts that I (sometimes) keep to myself. To be my 'Outlet', in one simple word.

I was reading my old blog posts. And I realized, my life seems sad and confused when I was in Ireland. I can buy all the material things, I can go whereever I want to go but I was not really happy. I didnt feel the inner happiness. My friendster or my facebook showed how great my life was when I was there but this blog told me the opposite... the real me.

Most of the posts expressed how incomplete my life was, how Im longing for someone, how I need to be with one person that always makes me happy in his own little ways, how I want to be with Alvin.

And now I understand clearly the reasons for everything that happened. I understand why I was sent home. God was really great that He knows our heart desire. God knows that I can be happier and have a better life here. God knows I can surpass the trials and challenges that He gave me. God is good to give me this new beginning.... and there I thank Thee!

emote mode

i should be still packing my things now but as usual i'm here stuck in my laptop... im tired from the holiday... and i feel so heavy... i dont know why... im alone... i feel sad... it's starting to sink in that i only have less than 72 hours to spend here...sigh

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i realized i do have a good memory. i still remember almost everything that happened, every conversation, sometimes even the date and the place. before, as i am the secretary in our class, i used to remember all the birthdays of my classmates in high school (49 of them). my friend said, we sometimes need to forget some things in the past so our brain can accomodate new memories. i do want to forget things that i did before/happened to me but that doesnt include the memories and experiences that makes me smile everytime i think about it.

Move Over Pussycat Dolls!

After the success of our modelling careers, we decided it's about time to show the people our other talent.

Presenting our first ever music video, inspired by Meteor Garden*, singing our first single - Oh Baby Baby!

Enjoy! :P




*Meteor Garden is a popular asian TV series which was partially shot in Barcelona, specifically the location of the above MTV, Park Guell.

the clock is ticking

i cant believe it's only 11 days to go... im torn between feeling excited to go home and leaving Ireland. i still have million things to do before i go home but it seems i havent even done at least half of it. i just want to savor my remaining days here with my friends and enjoy the place but i still have to settle a lot of things.

sigh...

the light

I know... It's been a while I havent post a blog. No new post for a month, that's a record!

It's actually a good thing when i dont have a new post. Normally, I am more inspired to write when I'm depressed, sad or there's something I want to tell that I cant tell directly. Obviously, I am not sad neither depressed. :)

But anyway, I need to update this blog. This is actually my nth attempt for a new post since the last one, hope I can finish it now...

There's a rainbow after the rain!

When He closes a door, He opens a window!

Happiness is a choice and I chose to be happy!

Everything happens for a reason!

Those are only some of the lines I currently lived by. Exactly my point, my current state! At first, and my blog witnessed it, I felt so low and depressed when this thing happened. I asked a lot of questions, I wondered why this happened to me when everything in my life is in its right place. I searched for answers and for reasons. And thankfully, through a lot of self psycho-analyzing, soul searching, advices from friends and family, and of course prayers...I found the answers. I saw the light.

There is a better plan for me, for my life. There's a window that He opened for me to have the happiness I've been pursuing.

Everything now in my life fall into places again. It might not be the way I planned before but I trust it's better because I never felt this happy and blessed with this 'new plan'.

things to do...

so i accepted it already that i might leave Ireland soon. but before i leave this lovely country, i made a list of things i want to do before i go.

1. watch an irish game in Croke Park - DONE!
2. party the irish way
3. have a photo shoot in all the memorable places in dublin

yeah, not that long list... there's not much to do here in ireland anyway... and i think i've done a lot before... i had all the fun and the time of my life here. a lot of good and bad memories that i will bring anywhere i go. :)

Grand!

it's really great having a break to have some time to unwind, to relax and to just forget the real world.

thanks to our Barcelona holiday, i was able to clear my mind and forget the negative things. i already accepted IT. im fine now. im happy again and just looking forward for the future.

Life goes on...

que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. que sera sera. :)

a lot of things happening...

a lot of things to decide... to plan... to change.

please give me strength and will to cope up and surpass all of these.

why oh why

why do i feel confused again?

why am i having all these doubts again? why now?

why everytime i plan to settle, something's happening. is this God's way of telling me, this is not the right thing?

God, im not good at interpreting signs. Please just tell me clearly what's the best thing for me.