Apart

You wake up when I go to sleep...

You go home when I go to work...

You eat dinner while I eat lunch...

You're in summer heat while I'm in winter cold...

It seems like we are in different worlds now...

Home by Michael Buble

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome (In Dublin, London and Rome)
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people
I Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters (emails/text) that I wrote (sent) to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight (in Christmas)
I’m coming back home

I'll be home, baby...

Work it out!

For the first time in my life, I enrolled in a GYM/Health Fitness. It is really one of my plans to enroll in a gym when i came here. And finally, after eight months of my stay here, I was able to fulfill that long-time plan.

It was our Malaysian friend Di who encouraged Dina and I to join. She gave us a tour to the gym where she's enrolled in. We were really impressed of the place. It's like a five star hotel. Fully-equipped, tastefully designed interiors, clean, strategically located near Temple Bar, and not to mention good looking receptionists and instructors (haha!).

There are also pool, saunas, steam rooms and fitness classes. We can just plunge or relax on the wet areas after a tiring work out. Oh life! I think the monthly euro fees will be worth it for all of those facilities.

Well, i just hope I will have discipline and time to do my workout. In the first place, it's not really the posh place that I am paying my euro for, it's for my health and fitness! (And the cute guys, right Dina? haha j/k :P)

'A workout is 25% perspiration, 75% determination. One part physical exertion, three parts self-discipline.' - www.crunchfitness.ie

Boys don't cry, Real Men do!

All the while i thought he's alright. I never heard him complain nor grieve since I left. But maybe after eight months, he's just human and can't keep everything by himself. My heart bursted when I heard him cried on the other line. I felt how he misses me, how he longs for me for the past months...

I felt that because I do feel the same way...

...

"Mahirap din pala pag nakukuha mo na ang lahat ng gusto mo, hindi mo na alam kung ano pang gusto mo..."

Valentines Scrooge

I always hate this day! I can't see the point why are we celebrating it. Do we need to have a day like this to remind our love for a person? If we really love someone, we can show it all year round. right? We don't need a mark on the calendar just to give someone flowers or chocolates or go on a luxurious romantic date. I think this day just makes the loveless people feel more unloved and those people with lovelife but didn't receive anything, disappointed. Wait! I feel i sound like the latter?!? haha

Actually, aside from the fact that I did have a bad memory of valentines day, I really feel the latter. I just feel disappointed every Valentines Day. But it's not really a big deal for me that Alvin is not a 'special occasion' boyfriend. He's an 'everyday' boyfriend. He might not shower me with gifts or surprises but he's been there almost everyday in my life for the past decade taking care of me. Oh! I miss the times that he cooks for me and prepare my lunch for work. I miss watching movies with him while leaning on his arm. I miss shopping with him and he valuing my opinion on fashion. I miss our 'kulitan' and 'lambingan'. I miss his kasungitan when i am careless with what I wear. I miss him doing my laundry while I am still snoring on a weekend morning. I miss those kisses before eating. I miss everything about him!

I guess at the end of the day, not only on this V-day, it all sums up to one reason why I sometimes feel an unexplainable sadness, admit it or not, I miss Alvin very much!

This blog supposedly should be about the author's madness about Valentines Day but we can't blame her! She's mad with Alvin. Madly in love! ;-P

Sssshhh...

"Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say"

- Samuel Johnson

F*ckin' mess!

i thought i was finished cleaning other people's mess. i just had the sign off for the previous client that was dumped on me but here i am again, continuing another crap, messy, sh*t files of the secondees that left. Grrrr!

i hate this! i f*ckin hate this!

jhona - breathe... one , two, three ... ten!

whew! well, at least i have this blog to whine... i have no choice but to do this job, right?

Sometimes...

Sometimes you have to experience a thing to fully understand it...

Sometimes you have to be on a person's shoes to feel what he feels...

Sometimes you have to fall alone to know how to stand by yourself...

Sometimes you have to commit a mistake to know what is right...

Sometimes I ask myself, how often is sometimes?

Grey Quotes

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.
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You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
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A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
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Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
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Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.

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I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.