Always Be My Baby

It's our 116th monthsary! Also the 7th monthsary that we are not physically together. We've been through a lot of bad and good times for almost a decade that we've been a couple. So i am crossing my fingers that we can also surpass this trial of being away from each other.

I miss you very much, my baby! I still and will always love you! Happy monthsary!

Me

I've been walking around all day,
Thinking.
I think I have a problem,
I think, I think too much.

I am fragile.

I'm not perfect.

But I am free.

???

I am crazy. I am silly. It's so hard psycho-analysing one's self. I am not so myself lately. Or it might be, this is the real me - unleashed!

Another one...

I just received my regularization letter today! Finally! I was really worried for the past few days, baka kasi pauwiin na ko ng Pinas e haha! But again, as another birthday wish granted, I thank God for this.

Doves

In my recent trip to Italy, the one activity I enjoyed most was feeding the doves in Venice. There are a lot of doves all over the Piazza San Marco. You just have to buy one Euro worth of food and you can feed the doves and have your photo taken with them with a beautiful San Marco church as your background. It was a great experience, doing things and going to places I just watched from romance movies before.

But there is one thing I’ve realized about the doves. - They just come to me because they need me, because I have their food but after they ate all the corn that I have or after they had satisfied their hunger, they left me ... alone.

I reckon that’s one dove trait that some people have.

But still I wonder, was it because I have no food to feed them anymore that’s why they left or was it because I did something to send them away?

True Friend

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us,

we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

I'm Getting Married!!

Yes! That's really true! I am getting married this December 2007! Believe it or not, I asked Alvin to marry me. Funny but it's really true.

Ewan ko ba kung anong pumasok sa isip ko... but, in fairness, since I asked him it seems the contradictions within me fade out. Maybe the reason why I am very sad lately is because I really miss him. A lot of occasions happened within the last few days and it is the first time that we celebrate it apart. I've been to one of the most romantic places in the world but his not with me. I do really miss him.

Ooooops! wait! Before you freak out and tell this blab to my mom (mahihimatay sigurado yun pag nalamang ikakasal na ang unica hija nya haha!), let me clear things first.... but not now.

I can't finish this blog. This is what I can have for now because of a handful of jobs that are in front of me.

Bitin ba? Pasensya... ;-)

Contradictions

My mind thinks that I am happy because the best things are happening in my life but my heart feels otherwise. Can anyone tell me how to get over this contradiction? I am so tired arguing with myself.