Eleven

Indeed, it was a tough road to reach our 11th year. It was not only twice or thrice that we almost break up. But as always, and one of the reasons why we stay this long, we dont give up on each other. We dont give up on love.

Happy 11th Anniversary to us!

Wishing for a smooth sail this time.

i want to tell you what happened...
i want you to know what they did to me...
i want to cry on your shoulder to ease the pain....

but

i dont want you to worry...
i dont want to see or hear you cry...
ma, i dont want you to feel the pain...

your big girl is fine now, dont worry...

darkness

I used to believe that Dublin is the safest city from all the places that I've been but everything changed when the darkest night in my life happened.


It was around half one last Saturday night while I was walking home in my favorite 'emote lane' when the unexpected happened. Two girls threw a bottle of beer to me and tried to grab my bag. Honestly, the first thing I thought that time was, "Sh*t! My SLR is in my bag!" So i didnt give it. They knocked me down to my knees. I was expecting that they will keep on grabbing my bag but I think they were more engrossed in hitting my head with the bottle. I shouted for HELP and thank God someone came along so they stopped from hitting me and ran away.

I felt so relieved when they left. I thought, thank God they didnt get anything from me...but wait why did the man look shocked to see me and then i remembered I was hit on the head. When i touched my head, I saw a lot of blood in my hands. The beige coat that I borrowed from Lianne was full of blood. I told the man to bring me to the hospital so they called an ambulance. I called Lianne to tell what happened. She sounded like crying while I was talking to her then I realised, I am not crying. I didnt feel any pain. I just wanted the bleeding to stop and I was worried that they will shave my hair to stitch my head. Haha I am in a near death experience but all I can think is my vanity and my SLR! Thank God, after five minutes, the ambulance came and brought me to St. James Hospital and then here another torture started...

The ambulance arrived in the hospital at around 2am. I was expecting that a stretcher or wheelchair and nurses or doctors will welcome me just like what I see on Grey's Anatomy or in the hospitals in the Philippines. To my surprise, none of them was there. They asked me to go to the counter and gave me a paper for me to fill up with my personal information. It seemed normal for them to see someone covered with blood. Anyway, to cut the long story short, it was already 9am when a nurse practitioner checked on me, x-rayed me and stitched my wound. Imagine that I've been waiting to be cured, covered with blood, seating on an uncomfortable chair for the whole seven hours. It was more painful than the assault. I felt like I was being punished for being a victim here and that was the time i broke down and cried.

I asked, why did this happen to me? Why me? Why did they do that? A lot of why's. But as always, there's a reason for everything. There's a lesson in every experience. There is light after the darkness. I just hope this will help me be a stronger and better person.

A million thanks to Karen and Tin for being with me in the hospital for the whole seven hours or so. To Lianne, for being my nurse who wakes me every three hours to check if I'm still on my right mind. To all who showed concern. In this time that I am not with my family and I can't even tell this to them, it makes me feel better to know that there are people who will be with me on the darkest moment of my life.

...

I feel bad...down...depressed... stressed...

... yet i can't complain.

I don't want to say it's all my fault but I think i have to admit it now.

I've been too relaxed, too confident and now it's payback time.

....

....


I just wish and pray I can still be back on the game...

Mahal ko na ata si David Cook....

(Im fallin in love with David Cook...)

Aaaaaaww.... i just love his version of Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey...

I've been listening to the song over and over and over and over for the past couple of days. If only David can complain, he will tell me to give him a rest. haha.

Haay sobrang kakainlove! I can relate pa sa lyrics.. Feeling ko my baby is singing the song for me...especially this part...

i ain't gonna cry no
and i won't beg you to stay
if you're determined to leave girl
i will not stand in your way
but inevitably you'll be back again
cause ya know in your heart babe
our love will never end no
you'll always be a part of me
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on
time can't erase a feeling this strong
no way you're never gonna shake me
ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby

Monalisa Smile

A friend was checking my friendster page and told me how she loves my shot here...how she noticed the spark in my eyes and the bloom in my smile...

And so I wonder, after all the make over and the magic of my new SLR camera, what makes this picture of me so special than my other current picture? What's behind that smile?

What makes me smile that time???

Oh so mysterious as Monalisa's smile...

Always be my baby

it's me again for the second time tonight...

i still can't sleep...

i miss him so much. i badly want to be with him. daily phone calls and text messages are not enough. i want to see his face everytime i go home from work. eat the dinner he cooked for me. kulitan and lambingan until we fall asleep. i so really miss those times when life is really simple that we are just happy spending time together, doing nothing, just being together.

yet, he let me go away. we, especially him, sacrificed those good times because he always know this is what i want. this is what i've been praying for. i didnt hear a single word from him hindering my dreams. he just said, he'll be right there waiting for me...

haay... i know i can't complain... this was my choice...as he always say to me - this is my dream.

But i didnt realise this will be this difficult.... even more difficult than the first time i came here because i was too damn took him for granted the last time i went home.... and now i feel so crazy missing him... insane to go home for him...

just for him...

restless...

i am not that busy at work... nor pressured... but i feel so restless...

my original plan was to go home next year but i feel like i cant wait that long...

i want to go home!!! i want to be with him again... this time spend more time with him.

i do miss him so much!

haay....

lazy girl

haay... im so lazy today... i didnt do anything but sleep and check the internet. well, blame it to the magnificent weather of Ireland. I just wanted to stay under the duvet for the whole day rather than brazing the coldness outside.



Anyway, i think it's time to update this blog with what's happening in my life right now:



I MUST say, i am very happy now. everything's back to normal. In Irish slang, it's GRAND. :)

• Work is still very busy but manageable. i have six clients right now... just six... ang konti no? haha. but im not complaining. im happy with what im doing. my managers are all very nice and patient to me. and im thankful that im not experiencing the hardships and pressure that the other filipino auditors are experiencing. im just glad, im in KPMG! Proud to be in KPMG! :)


• I'm so grateful to have the like of friends I have right now. We all keep each other's sanity. Im always looking forward for weekends to be with them. Just trying and pigging out new restaurants, watching movies, malling, bowling, taking pictures, travelling and other sin-free activities that we love to do together. As they say, birds of the same feathers, enjoy together! :).

Memory Lane

"Remember the place not because of its beauty but the memories beneath it. "

Thanks for all the memories.